Kids Say the Darndest Things

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The opinions expressed in these articles and features are those of their author and do not necessarily reflect the positions of McANA or the opinion of its Directors or Officers.

Kids Say the Darndest Things
by Cathy Burton

It is always interesting, often informative, frequently flattering, and occasionally discouraging to see how others view our city. Sadly, Indianapolis was seen through the eyes of many who attended this year’s Black Expo in a less than desirable light. But there can be a lighter side to how we look at ourselves. Recently, I visited the downtown area with a group of elementary age children, and it was very entertaining to hear what they thought about “the City.” Let’s just say, if you want to know what’s really happening in our town, just ask a kid. They understand what’s really important.

ON THE FRESH AIR MARKET IN FRONT OF THE CITY COUNTY BUILDING: This is really cool. I didn’t know you could get real food down here.

ON WHAT THE MAYOR SHOULD DO AT LUNCH TIME: Mayor Bart should walk around outside the City County Building and talk to people. Besides, then he could get some good food at the market.

ON THE IPD HORSE PATROL: Can they stop people for speeding without a siren?

ON THE BUS SHELTERS: These look kind of like the port-o-lets at the Park.

ON THE SECURITY CHECK AT THE CITY COUNTY BUILDING: How come people get mad about having to do this? It doesn’t hurt and it just makes sense, ‘cause no one should put guns and politicians in the same place. However, of a much bigger concern is “can they see what I had for breakfast?”

ON THE ISSUE OF TREES: They don’t have very many trees down here. Maybe they should read The Lorax. (A children’s book by Dr. Suess about what happens when you cut down all the trees.)

ON THE OBSERVATION DECK AT THE CITY COUNTY BUILDING: Wow, Indianapolis looks really pretty when you can see everything. Usually it’s too dirty to see very far.

ON THE CITY’S MEMORIALS TO VETERAN’S: Somebody must have a lot of respect for the soldiers here.

ON CROWN HILL CEMETERY: This is very pretty and quiet. It’s too bad you have to be dead to stay here very long.

ON THE NEWSPAPER VENDING MACHINES: There can’t be this much different news for people to read. They should put some video games on the corner instead for people to play while they’re waiting to cross the street.

ON WHEELED CARTS TO CARRY BRIEFCASES, ETC.: If they have that much work to do, somebody needs to give them a desk.

ON THE FALL CREEK PLACE REDEVELOPMENT PROJECT: These houses are so nice, it could even make poor people feel rich.

ON THE HOMELESS GENTLEMAN IN UNIVERSITY PARK: Maybe the police should just give him a pillow. Or they could take him to an empty house and he could fix it up like those (in Fall Creek Place) if somebody would just show him how.

ON CHRIST CHURCH CATHEDRAL: This looks like something from Hollywood. That guy playing the organ could do the music, ‘cause he’s really awesome.

ON THE CENTRAL LIBRARY: Sometimes, reading a book is the best thing to do. Do you know there are places where kids don’t have any libraries? Well, that’s just wrong.

AND THE BEST THING TO DO DOWNTOWN?: Play in the sprinklers at the American Legion Mall. Maybe people should bring their swimsuits to work and everybody could buy lunch at the fresh air market and bring it down here to cool off on a hot day.

Cathy Burton