Diversity and disagreement can build walls … or it can build innovation, determination, and resiliency.

The nature of community activism draws many people of strong character who feel passionately about their issues and causes. That passion is able to motivate others to give valuable time and effort to work with few resources to achieve difficult goals. But that same passion can sometimes lead to conflict between those who might normally be allies. One of the most difficult challenges community volunteers face is how to continue to work with each other after the conflict occurs.

Some of these conflicts occur because of a lack of information. It is seldom possible to know every detail of every issue with which neighborhoods grapple, and new information can come to light on a daily basis. But there comes a time when we have to form opinions with the information we have on hand, and move forward with a plan. When the sources of information are varied, it is even more likely that not everyone will posses the same knowledge or perspective. In order to work together on future issues, it takes precious time to share information. But it will help get past differences of opinion that may have occurred if others believe you gave everyone the same set of facts with which to work.

Conflicts often occur when someone voices or attempts to voice the opinions of others. There is nothing wrong with that if you have been asked to convey that person or groups’ opinion, or you have heard or seen the opinion stated in clear, unequivocal terms, but tread carefully in this arena, because it can be extremely tricky. Setting aside those circumstances under which others’ opinions are deliberately misrepresented to manipulate the others, it is easy to unintentionally shade someone else’s opinion with your own perceptions or desires for the outcome of an issue. It is human nature to process information within the framework of our own experiences and beliefs, but if you express someone else’s opinion, make sure you know what they actually think and not just what you hope they think.

Controversy often springs forth when people feel they have not been included in a process from the very beginning. Again, this is often the fallout of relationships that have been built in the past. The longer we are involved in neighborhood and community affairs, the larger our circle of acquaintances becomes and the more access we have to new information and issues. While this may sometimes be mistaken by "newcomers" as an effort to shut them out, it is seldom intended to be exclusive or clandestine. This is one of the strengths that experienced volunteers bring to situations and should be respected by those new to the table. It can be extremely disheartening to someone who has devoted time and energy (sometimes literally for decades) to neighborhoods to be derided as "thinking they know everything" simply because they are using their knowledge to navigate difficult waters. There should be no apologies for being able to build on past associations and experiences, provided you remain true to your cause and don’t allow yourself to be diverted by an impressive resume or position of influence.

But the other side of the inclusion equation is complacency. When you have, in fact, dedicated your time and soul to neighborhood issues when no one else would, and yet another demanding crises is pressing on your shoulders, it is very easy to feel you simply don’t have the time or patience to deal with the novice. But remember that once upon a time you were "the newcomer" trying to come up to the learning curve and step into unknown territory as a force to be reckoned with. Yes, the beginners will make mistakes that could be avoided if issues were handled by those with more experience. Yes, it will take even more of the time you don’t have to get them involved in a meaningful way and it is frustrating when you know you could probably deal with issues more efficiently. There may come a time when they need to let you finish the job despite their new found interest. But take the time to answer their questions, provide them with information, explain how the "system works", let them be involved, because it is these beginners who can bring new energy, new perspectives, and new relationships to neighborhoods. Don’t let complacency become the armor you wear to get through the endless strings of meetings, boring reports, and proposals that will beat the neighborhoods down.

To say "it’s not personal" is one of the biggest fallacies I have ever heard spouted when applied to neighborhood issues. OF COURSE IT’S PERSONAL! These are our families and neighbors and homes we are fighting to protect and preserve. It is VERY personal. But don’t let yourself fall into the pit of arguing on a personal basis. Often those we oppose will use "divide and conquer" techniques to dilute the effectiveness of neighborhood empowerment. When you are in the middle of the latest crisis, there are enough outside influences and factors putting pressure on neighborhoods without having us treat each other as enemies.  Everyone should remember that two rational, intelligent, well meaning people can look at the same set of facts and come up with different conclusions. But disagreeing with one another doesn’t mean that we have to engage in name calling and finger pointing.

Don’t misunderstand, I am no expert on "building community relationships". I do get impatient and slip into some of the bad habits I have just cautioned against. There are plenty of times when I am certain that others are just flat out wrong or when I say "enough is enough, I am not going to spend any more effort seeking a compromise". And I certainly get angry when someone questions my motives, implies I have no business participating in some community issue, or suggests that, if I disagree with them, I am simply unable to grasp "the facts". But at the end of the day, neighbors are still neighbors, we are still going to live in the same community together, and there will always be another crisis lurking around the corner that will require our combined efforts. So before you let an issue divide you, remember it is easier to accomplish something when you join hands and work together, and figure out how to put the past behind you.

As Benjamin Franklin most aptly said, "We must indeed all hang together, or assuredly, we shall all hang separately."